Selling a Diamond Ring

Thoughts on Life and Validation

My husband is so driven to continue his music and the things he is passionate about even though he works full time.  It puts me to shame and makes me a little envious.  Most of the time I feel like I can't add anything else to life without collapsing.  But the things I used to identify myself as are a part of my past and not my present anymore.  I feel like I can barely even play my guitar and music was my major.  Why is it that life gets in the way of living sometimes?  So much of my life when I was in school was centered around my intellect and I felt validated in it.  But what good is being an intellectual in the real world?  We are no longer being graded on how well we can write or on the depth of our thoughts.  We no longer have people patting us on the back with letters when we do well.  Rather, we are expected to do well at what we are told to do (not what we think up) and if we don't, we are reprimanded.  Is it wrong to need validation?  Is it prideful to want to be really good at something and recognized for it, instead of being mediocre at a lot of things?  What is the balance?  How do people find it?  Do I forcefully insert my passions into my life . . . and burn out?  Or do I change my life altogether?  And how?

Update . . . Finally

Well, I am at work and I have a little down time, so I thought I would update for a change.  Life has been good.  One month after the wedding and we are still more in love than ever!  Although, just today we had the most horrible argument.  We just couldn't agree about who loved the other more!  Hee hee.

Jumping back a little bit (for those of you who I haven't had a chance to tell in person) the honeymoon was beautiful!  The mountains were amazing.  The weather was surprisingly mild.  We had lots of good food and lots of entertainment and lots of  . . . well, never mind, we won't go there.  We had so much fun that it made real life seem a bit lack-luster when we got back.  But we are getting back into the swing of things . . . slowly but surely.  I have pictures, both of the honeymoon and the wedding for anyone who wants to see.  Just give me a call.

I have a question?  How do you balance the fine line between being excited about what's to come and living in the future.  I want to live wholly in the present.  I want to enjoy every moment of right now.  But sometime I get so eager for the next thing, that I lose sight of how great things already are.  I'm sure some of you know that I am talking about kids.  I have wanted to have a family since I was  . . . oh . . . fifteen!  But my desire for children has always taken second place to my desire for a husband, a mate, a partner, a friend.  And now I have found him.  And I adore him.  He is everything that I wanted and everything that I needed.  But now I find that my desire for children has suddenly become foremost.  And it eats at me sometimes.  Jonathan and I have decided to wait for about a year and a half (give or take) but sometimes I wonder if I can make it that long.  And then I think Jonathan starts to feel pressured when he sees me so eager.  And then there is the practical side of me that goes, 'What the hell are you thinking!'  We just got married a month ago, we're just getting our feet on the ground financially, we both work (and need to).  Of course we can't have a kid right now!  But . . . sniff . . . pout.

I have a new job!  I am working for Pearl River Glass Studio, Inc. as a sales and marketing manager.  Of all of the jobs I have had (and there have been many), I think this has been the best fit for me.  I get to utilize all of my organizational and sales skills, and I am also in an artistic environment where I can be creative and passionate about my work.  The people are all really great, too.  I think it’s gonna be good!

Wow, this has gotten long.  I better get back to work before I get in trouble.  Bye for now.

Wedding Pics!